I'll Begin 2014 with our fantastic news :)

So right before I took a ahem... "small" hiatus from blogging we had just lost our 6th pregnancy. It was super hard and the process of grieving and getting my body straitened out was more than I had ever even tried to deal with. But life does move on. I miss that sweet baby everyday and that will never change. About six months later about the time we both kinda forgot it could even happen, we got a little surprise. The morning of Callie's bday I was having awful heart burn for no apparent reason. The only time I have EVER had heart burn is when I am pregnant. Sense that thought had popped up in my mind I knew the only way I would not think about it the entire day is if I just took a test and got it over with. I honestly thought it would just ease my mind and that would be it. I took it right before everyone got there for the party. Well.... lets say it did not say what I thought it would have. I immediately walked out of the bathroom and went on with the day getting ready for our family to get there. I really didn't know what to think and was not ready to deal with the emotions it brought on. About an hour later Kyle stopped me in the hallway and said "did you take a pregnancy test" I just looked at him. "why?" I ask. "Um because I just found one in there while cleaning and it says positive"..... well don't you know I just walked away and said I didn't want to talk about it. And that is how the rest of the next little while went. I was not ready to talk about being pregnant. Everyday I tried not to think about it battling the fear that something would happen again. Finally I went to the Dr. at around 8 weeks with baited breath. I just cried as I laid down on the ultra sound table and told the tech that the last time I was there it was not good and it was just a lot to handle. Of course, right away a sweet sweet baby popped up on the screen. Oh the tears of joy!!!!! And on top of being healthy, it measured almost a week later than we thought. 

So fast forward to November. My 20 week ultrasound was scheduled for the first week of December. I really really wanted to be able to tell our family/kids on Thanksgiving what we were having. So I went to my friend who is an ultra sound tech at A Women's Choice here in Louisville to find out the week of Thanksgiving. The moment she put the wand on my belly it was OBVISIOUS what we were having. I honestly never thought we would see another little boy on that screen. I was at peace with that even though I would have LOVED for Henry to have a brother. Well, you can imagine what a surprise it was to see that sweet little BOY on the screen. Needless to say we were more than thrilled and couldn't wait to tell the kids and everyone else. I will leave ya'll with the sweet video of the kids finding out on Thanksgiving morning. It was precious. We are due April 20th.... so the end is coming. Not too much longer now!

sweet life.

Life is oh so sweet right now. Summer is right around the corner and our more carefree days are ahead of us. School is almost over and it's almost vacation time!!  Honestly I have felt like I'm walking around in a fog recently. Not sure if it's hormones, allergies or a nice mix of both. But I do know this is the life, and these are the times I will never get back. So here is to soaking it up, feeling bogged down or not, Satan will not steal my joy in these sweet days!!!

Here it is 2014.... hahahaha Im behind!

Well yes it's 2014 and I blogged last year on Lily's bday..... ahem almost a year ago. So I've been really bad about it! Life is busy and honestly I have not had the tug to get on here and write. BUT I also know how much I LOVE getting on here and looking back so I'm a little sad last year was lost on here. So perhaps this year I could at least get on here weekly... Ok maybe bi weekly. :) But I REALLY want to make a point to post on here and take more pictures. So here is to my only new years resolution I've made ( and probably the only one I will make :) :)

My Lily Grace is 5!!!

My precious beautiful baby girl is 5! So hard to believe. I look at photos of my stubby short haired baby girl and there is almost no traces of her left in the little beauty. Oh I still get glimpses of her, but boy how she has grown! Into such an amazing little girl!! I am so proud of the sweet girl she is. Her heart is so big. She feels so big, she loves deep, she cares lots, and she cries easy. She adores her big brother and is a great big sister to her baby sisters. She is very responsible and is such a good girl. She is excited as can be about starting Kintergarten next year gives the best hugs and kisses. Her favorite dinner is speghetti and meat balls and she loves dessert! (me too!) Oh how much I love this girl and how very blessed I feel to be her mama. Lots of love to you our sweet Lily Grace... can't wait to see what God has in store for you!!

1. What is your name? Lily

2. March 29th

3. What do you want to do when you grow up? "I want to be a Dr. a baby Dr."

4.What is your favorite food? "Broccolli"

5.What is your favorite show? "Barbie Princess and the Pauper"

6;What is your favorite song? " 1000 reasons and corageous"

7.What is your favorite color? " pink and purple

8. What is your favorite drink? "apple juice"

9. What is your favorite store? "Costo" :)"

10. What is yoru favorite princess? "Cinderella"

11. What do you like to do outside? "Place on the swings"

8 months and so fun...

Well I'm a bit behind :) But for what it is worth I have been so busy doing my best to enjoy my littles that the camera took a back seat, but hopefully I can remember to bring it out because I just don't want to forget these precious days. Today this little sweet heart is 8 months. She just started crawling two weeks ago, has two bottom teeth and LOVES to eat. She adores her brother and sisters and although I want more personal space for her most times she doesn't mind when they are being crazy in her face. And when she does mind she screams at them and will bat them away. Which brings me to the next thing about this little miss, she is very opinionated :) She is the sweetest, cuddliest thing ever but if she is hungry, tried or irritated she will let you know. She takes two good naps a day and sleeps great at night. She still has these grey/blue eyes that are so pretty and a smile that will melt you. Her rolls are the best! I love her so much and am having to much fun seeing her personality shine through.

A pair.

These two are quite a pair and so precious. I can no believe how big they are..... seems I have had snow photos of them for a while and each year they look like such little bitties... but not now. They are growing up and I am so thankful they have each other. I could have never imagined when I had Lily what kind of relationship they would have. And it is something so special. Love that God gave them each other so close in age. 

Grieving and closeness to the Lord...

Grief, yes it makes me feel like an emotional mess. One moment I am fine, totally fine. Then the next a thought, song, .... nothing,  will trigger something and I'm a crying mess. There is no rhyme or reason for it. I have discovered something very sweet in the midst of this. There is this level of closeness, supernatural care and peace that I have experienced from God that I just never have come close to experiencing before. It is awesome. The way that He has carried me, because at times I have needed it, has been very powerful for me. I feel so changed inside. Not outside, look at me and you will see the same Jenn you saw a week ago. But inside, inside there is a different girl in there. A wounded girl that did not exist before. But because of that wound I have a new reality of Jesus, a new understanding of Him, and that is a gift. I have a connection with heaven like I have never had before. A new very real reason to look forward to getting there. So while I would much rather have my baby growing in my belly and life to be as it was planned a week ago, I'm not sure I would ever wish to not know how very real His care is, and how very real His promise is that he loves and takes care of His children. Thankful for the Lord, that in times of such disrepair  he holds us and mends our heart and just let's us cry.